God so loved the world--no exceptions.

Be you. Just be you. Love will find you.


 


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Created in the image

When we try to deny these truths, we feel pain.

When we feel this pain, it is then that we sin.

Faith can be the healing that knits our souls back together.

We were created for wholeness.

The joy of the gospel

"I prefer a Church which is bruised, hurting and dirty because it has been out on the streets, rather than a Church which is unhealthy from being confined and from clinging to its own security."
--Pope Francis


Me too.


Thank you, God, for a Pope who speaks in the way of the prophets.


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Vigilance against the vagaries

In a 2007 interview, Garrison Keillor said that “gloom and self-absorption are for teenagers.  Once you pass a certain point—and I passed it a long time ago—you’re supposed to be cheerful.”  Asked if he was a cheerful person, he replied, “Yes, I am, but I have to work at it.  I come from dark people, people who were always expecting disaster.” 

If you had asked me 6 months ago, if I was a person subject to vagaries, which I define also as being at the mercy of the whims of my emotions and thoughts, as well as life circumstances, I would've replied, "Sometimes".

Watch over me, God, for it is in you I have taken refuge.

In the past I said:  "You are my Creator,

but you do not look out for my good."

I realize now that my answer would have been "All the time" if I had been aware of it.

Their sadness multiplies, all who rush after futility,

those who chase after empty gods...

When things are good, even mostly good, or even so-so, it can be oh so easy to allow our circumstances to define us and not be aware that we're doing it, because our lives are relatively stable.  Even when I was in the dumps after each "no-thank-you" from an interview, I figured it was within reason that I hit the skids.  After all, who wouldn't?  It's normal, right?

Of course.  Normal is a wide, broad spectrum.  Lots of room for all of us there.  To me, normal can be  hard to nail down.  Like jello.  To me, normal is just another word for human.  And there are as many ways to be human as there are, well, human beings.  We're all just trying to figure it out: being alive on this planet tumbling through the universe with no apparent purpose or meaning.  So what do we do?  We make meaning, we make purpose.

And so we  have a choice.  Now I've known this for a long time.  But there times when you know something and others when you KNOW it, down to your bones, smack upside your forehead.  I am now in a totally new place: new people, new work, new digs.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised--I moved to NEWARK, after all.  (Hey, it was there and one of you was thinking it—don't tell me otherwise.)

God is the measure of my portion and my cup.

You uphold my destiny.

In this very new situation I realized that I have to remain vigilant about my attitude and emotions, that I cannot allow my circumstances to define my reality for me.  It would be very easy to slip into sadness and despair:  my husband and daughters are still in Connecticut, everything is unfamiliar, sometimes I get lost, and I am too much alone at times.  This is why we pray "Lead us not into temptation".  It doesn't have to be big--it's really rather sneaky.  But then I remind myself (okay, it was really God) that I asked for this, exactly this, and now I am living it.  I knew the costs going in.  I told myself I could handle it, that I would enjoy this little 'mommy sabbatical':  cooking for one, hell, not even cooking most days, taking care of only me, remembering what it was like when I was single.

Blessings have fallen upon me in pleasant meadows,

wonders and beauty have been my inheritance.

 

I will praise God, who has given me good counsel.

And then I remembered:  though I didn't mind being alone at times, I really didn't like being single.  I wanted to be married and have children; it was a calling I wanted to fulfill.  So now I'm seeing the flipside of the last 16 years, when I couldn't fully participate in my calling to ministry; now I'm missing my call to be a life partner and mother in the flesh. 

Even when my fears torment me at night,

I will keep the Eternal always before my eyes.

 

For when you are at my right arm,

I do not stumble.

I miss hugging and kissing my daughters, and that other holy touch shared between two people who love each other.  And so I'm learning to feel those feelings, allow them to fill me like the vessel I am but then to let them pass and feel something else.  Like hope and joy and peace and contentment and wonder.  Now I'm making room for curiosity,  possibilities, and the wonderful hospitality of the folks of Delaware.

My heart leaps up,

the place of my innermost glory rejoices.

Even my flesh rests secure.

 

For you won't abandon my life to the underworld;

the Holy One will not relinquish the kindhearted

to witness destruction.

Other people wiser than me have said that we spend the first half of our lives figuring out how we want to live; we spend the second half actually living.  And though it may seem like we're spinning our wheels, that we could've started sooner like that person over there, it really is important to think it through, to feel all the feelings, make mistakes, forgive ourselves (and a few other people), and move on.  Because it's OUR one precious life and no one else's.  And so far, I don't regret a thing.  Not even spinning my wheels.  They got me here, right here.

Make known to me the pathway of life

until I overflow with joy at your presence,

 

the lasting contentment that comes from your right hand.**

**Verses from Psalm 16, The Complete Psalms: The Book of Prayer Songs in a New Translation, by Pamela Greenberg, New York: Bloomsbury, 2010.

God mend thine every flaw

This video has been posted on Facebook with the tag line: "The most bad ass version of the National Anthem I have ever heard."  Give it a go:




The only thing missing from this video is a muscle-bound Jesus in camo pants and a slashed t-shirt, waving the flag or cocking an AK-47.  This is an anthem based on military victory, not on the beauty of our nation or the compassion of its citizens and our willingness to sacrifice not only on the battlefield but for the poor, the homeless, the undereducated and underpaid, the incarcerated, those without health care, the hungry, the outcast, the unloved.

Not since WWII have we had to defend our nation from an enemy attack, and since then we know better about the cost of a war and that, recently, to respond with force is a choice that has more to do with national interests, politics, and fear that it does with restoring justice and balance.  I know some will disagree vehemently:  "What about 9/11?!  Was not that an enemy attack?"  Yes, but it was also a reaction against an empire, striking not at military targets but at targets that represent the real force of American power in this world.

We have not been able to change our anthem from "The Star Spangled Banner" to "America (O Beautiful, For Spacious Skies)" as some would like because, as a nation, we still rush to war more than we make efforts toward peace.  We have great pride for those who serve in the military but do not do nearly enough when our daughters and sons come home broken in spirit and in body.  And the question "Is this too high a price to pay for freedom?" goes unasked. 

I don't know about you, but my freedom has never been interrupted by Afghanistan or Iraq.  I was not asked to sacrifice a thing while we waged war for TEN, expensive years.  But there are others in this country who cannot marry if they wish.  Many cannot earn a living wage or afford college.  Some folks have to choose between rent, heat, and food.  That's not what I call the home of the free.  If we're going to go to battle, the true equality of every citizen would be something worth fighting for.

"America, America!  God mend thine every flaw.
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law."

Change within

Before I begin the true center of this rant, you, dear reader, and I need to come to a rapprochement, an accord of common ground.  And that is this:  what we call 'God' or 'Higher Power' is a working theory, a hypothesis in progress, an unfinished thought.  A blogger posting on Facebook last week posed the question:  Did you know there are approximately 7.1 billion religions in the world?  We all have our own idea about a supreme being, a Force, an intelligence, or scientific rationale behind this mysterious world we live in.  None of us has THE answer; no one has a monopoly on truth. 

That being said, can we please do away with all the quarreling, bickering, and pointing of the finger at God and religions for what is wrong with politics, laws regarding privacy and civil rights, and the human race in general?  God and religions are not responsible; people are.  People, with our fears, our need for answers and certainty, our big questions and small use of infinite imagination, in our ignorance, we are accomplishing nothing by striking out at one another and assigning blame.  If we leave one community, because of its narrow views and hurtful ways, for another, more promising community, it really is just geography.  There will always be people with whom we will not connect, who will be difficult to get along with, who will do stupid, painful stuff for who knows what reason.

Sometimes it seems it's just easier to identify one group by one label so they can be summed up by one opinion and then avoided.  Take these for example:  Christian.  Muslim.  Feminist.  Liberal.  Conservative.  Terrorist.  Democrat.  Republican.  Within each of these groups and others there are layers of interpretation and perspective.  And yet we have formed knee-jerk reactions to each of these, depending on our own viewpoint and experience, shutting down our curiosity, inate intelligence, and ability to understand.  Our world moves so fast now we don't take the time to stop, stand back, and really look at the bigger picture.



We all like to think that we're like the older brother in the story of the prodigal son, that we've been slaving away while that younger brat got to live like a rock star, while 'those people' got to call the shots, get the goodies, live on the taxpayer's teat, get off scott-free.  We forget that that sinful, starving brother was willing to come home to be a servant, and it was the father who was truly 'prodigal' (yes, I actually want you to click on the link and look it up, because you may only think you know what it means).

All of us are that younger brother, the problem child, the one who just can't get their act together. Because whatever we think is wrong with the world begins in the mirror.  Michael Jackson got it right, straight from Gandhi: Become the change you wish to see in the world.  Jesus: The kingdom of God is within you.  There has always been hate and evil in the world but it has never been able to bury love and fearlessness.  Throughout human history we have been given a choice: by which authority will we live?  The choice is being given again.  It's time to remember who we are.  One people.  One planet.  One future.

Whose rules?

You may have seen this on Facebook, especially if you get news feed from Miss Representation.  A blogger by the great moniker of Militant Baker wrote a letter to Mike Jeffries, the CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch, about her own campaign, "Attractive and Fat".  Accompanying the letter were photos of the militant baker herself and a gorgeous, Fitch-type model.

She writes that she had these pictures taken, not to prove that she has sex appeal worthy of attracting male models or to prove that she is photogenic (which she is) but for the express purpose to "challenge the separation of attractive and fat, and I assert that they are compatible regardless of what you believe."  MB is challenging Mr. Jeffries' attempt to make his own rules concerning the governing of his own company, because these rules of what is beautiful and what is not can be hurtful and damaging, especially to the self-image of the young.

However, in one of the fetching photos of MB, we can see the tattoos she has on her thighs, just above the knees: on her right leg, "My life"; on her left leg, "My rules".




Photography: Liora K Photography

I think it begs the question, which happens to plague the rest of society, whose rules win?  Militant Baker wants to live her life by her rules.  Ironically, this is how Mike Jeffries wants to run his company.  This how many folks wish they could live their lives but do not have the resources, thus, others are calling the shots, as in, the poor vs. the U.S. Congress, for example.

Our lives and the rules by which we live them affect countless other people, which seems to be the point MB is making to Mr. Jeffries.  My life is joined to your life and all lives by the actions and decisions I make, the attitudes and beliefs I hold.  This is why we make covenants, not only with God but also with each other--to hold the most important actions, decisions, attitudes and beliefs in common, because they affect the community as a whole.  For example, Abrahamic religions hold the ten commandments and the golden rule in common, the latter universal to most of the world's religions.

As a species, we have never really been able to afford the attitude of "My life, my rules".  There are times we've been able to inaugurate justice because of this battle cry:  Roe v. Wade, women's rights, privacy rights, etc.  But as it applies to individuals in general, we've had to mitigate its effects on society:  amendments to the Constitution, the Bill of Rights.   Part of what makes this nation great is that we hold individual freedom and communal responsibility in tension.  Even though we seek 'to establish a more perfect union', we continue to suffer great losses of animal habitats, clean water and air, disease, extinction, violent weather patterns, the senseless deaths of women, men and children, culture, economic recession, bi-partisan entrenchment, and the greatest loss of all: compassion.

I applaud Militant Baker.  I am thankful that her rules include compassion for those who do not fit Mr. Jeffries' idea of attractive and that she is a highly vocal, visible rebel!  But isn't it time for a covenant that sounds something like "Our lives, our rules" and that we work on them both together?

By what authority do you live?